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THE REV REVIEWS: The Ties That Bind (10.12.08)

By Reverend Rogue Six

(Disclaimer: The views expressed in the following are purely those of the columnist.)

The battle between the MCW Originals and MEWL had a turning point last month at SEPTEMBER 2 DISMEMBER, so I knew coming into the show tonight that things were going to move to a wholly different level. Little did I know just how right I was going to be...

Things started off with the grease-painted wonder himself, Durty the Clown, coming to the ring with Otis and the Time Traveler, along with a ladder and chair. At this point, I'm wondering if there's going to be a TLC match tonight. No, apparently, says Time Traveler, there's going to be a Tag Team TLC Match against Eric Ryan & Jazin Blaze in November (Great! I'd been hoping that Ryan and Blaze would get another shot). Then for no real reason at all -- save probably that he could, Durty beat up on poor Otis, then climbed up the ladder to prove that he and Wilbur will be victorious, just as Time Traveler "saw it" in his vision. (Oookay...) But for tonight, Durty was going to wrestle a "tune-up" match in preparation for November.

Last month, the Lucha/Krazy match ended in a time-limit draw. To my surprise, we would have Lucha/Krazy II! This was an incredible back and forth match -- but apparently lightning can indeed strike twice, because it ended up with another time-limit draw! Good God! Like me, the crowd wanted to see who the better man was, and chants of "5 More Minutes" started up, so the match was restarted. Supa Lucha finally hit his flip piledriver on Krazy, and just as he went for the pin -- oh you gotta be kidding me! The bell rang! The time expired again? These two need to have a match with no time limit -- there really needs to be a winner (I'm just saying...and I'm not the only one, this is what I heard in the crowd...)

Once everyone had caught their collective breath, Diaz came down to the ring; apparently he had a few things on his mind. It seemed that some people misunderstood what he said at the previous show; Chris Kole would get another shot at proving that he was deserving of a Heavyweight Championship since Diaz wasn't completely convinced after what he called a "handshake" victory against Mike Hercum last month (did he watch the same match I did? Hardly a "handshake" ). In Diaz's eyes, Kole still hasn't proven himself.

As for Johnny Gun, Diaz said that he had complained about getting a rematch since he did pin Diaz before it was CORRECTLY restarted (okay, I think that may have been directed at me, I'm not sure)due to outside interference by Lones Oaks. All that aside, Diaz decided to be a fair man and give both Kole and Gun a final opportunity to prove themselves worthy; should they win their matches tonight, they will get a title shot at the Heavyweight and North American Championships at the next show. The matches? Oh, Kole and Gun would be teaming up against Jebediah and Diaz in a Double #1 Contenders Match. (Gee, and I thought he was going to make it tough!)

And as for Lones Oaks and his meddling ways, oh, Diaz didn't forget him, he had something special in mind; Lones would have a match tonight; if he lost, he'd be suspended from MEWL.

Luis Diamante got a quick roll up win on the Hairspray King himself, MCW "Original" Nikki Skidz , only to end up on the receiving end of a post-match beating. (Yeah, Nikki, now that's losing with grace...) Out comes Brandon X with a chair -- and an MCW Originals T-Shirt on! These guys are starting to spring up out of the fracking woodwork! Brandon measured his nemesis, took a good grip the chair, took a swing -- and connected with Nikki! Brandon then tore off the MCW shirt and left with Diamante. Okay, I did not -- repeat, NOT -- see that one coming.

Evidently we hadn't seen the last of Brandon X, because he returned to the ring (with Luis Diamante) to face Durty the Clown (ah, here's Durty's tune-up) with The Sideshow in tow (Y' know, I can't help but wonder -- do they all go to the bathroom together if only one of them has to go? Just a thought...) Diamante returned the favor and provided backup for Brandon X, who stopped Durty from using a Tag Team belt on Brandon, who then hits the 619 (or maybe we should call it the 440 since we're closer to Cleveland) on both Durty and Otis for the win! Could we have seen the birth of a new team in Brandon and Diamante?

Super Oprah said last month that she was coming for Jessicka, and tonight, she was true to her word and was back for a rematch, with the title on the line. This time Havok wasn't going to be taken by surprise, and put down Super Oprah to retain the title!

Something tells me that this little donnybrook isn't over yet, not by a long shot.

Following intermission, Shasta came to the ring to speak on his upcoming match against Vaughn and gives a warning: a new MCW Original is returning to MEWL on Nov. 1 in Dover, OH. And he wasn't going to make everyone wait till then, oh no: none other than the one and only BRAIN DAMAGE will be making his debut in MEWL...but on the side of the MCW Originals!! Brain Damage is back? Oh, this can't be good...for MEWL...

Lones Oaks' opponent turned out to be none other then Jazin Blaze, who had the win in hand, but hesitated that one moment too long -- giving Lones the win.

In the Contenders' Tag Team Challenge match (ok, that's what I called the match -- feel free to insert your own name), Diaz and Jebediah dominated most of the match. But it seems that tonight was not to be their night, because after Kole gave a nasty head drop to Diaz (I found myself needing an aspirin after seeing it) and Gun hit the Gonorrhea (alright, there's a move in need of a better name -- what's the counter, the Penicillin?) on Jebediah, Kole powerbombed Diaz on top of Jebediah, and Gun delivered the killing stroke by elbow dropping both men from the top rope. Both then pinned the MCW warriors to secure their title matches!

I think the late great sportscaster Harry Carey would have said it best: "HOLY COW!"

I was exhausted from this match, my pen was nearly smoking -- and the Main Event was still to come!!

I've seen a lot of matches in my time, and I've even been part of a "Fans Bring the Weapons" match before tonight, so I thought I had an idea what was coming.

I was wrong.

Anything -- and I mean anything -- you could imagine (and some you couldn't) came into play. Shasta even pulled a page from Al Snow's playbook and used two bowling balls to nail Vaughn's "7-10 Split". (OUCH!) After a storm of Singapore canes, 2x4's, thumbtacks, and a broken table later (due to Vaughn's getting tossed from the top turnbuckle to the floor and crashing through the table) subsided, the MEWL loyal came out to check on Vaughn.

This brought the MCW Originals out at full tilt, and the battle that had been brewing for months was finally on, a proverbial Pier 6 brawl if there ever was one!. When the smoke cleared and the crowd was able to catch its collective breath (my pen exploded -- thankfully I bring a spare), both Vaughn and Shasta were found unable to go on (God knows I was wondering if either was alive!). There was no other choice; the match had to be stopped and was declared a no contest. They carried Vaughn out on a table and from what I could tell, Shasta was off to the nearest to a local hospital; I'm pretty sure he'd re-injured his back.

This show and the turnout were both astounding. That's all I can say, just astounding.

November 1st, MEWL comes back to Dover -- and the battle has now advanced to a entirely new level. I'm strangely curious to see where it goes from here...MCW now knows that MEWL is capable of standing up to them, how will they handle this turn of events?

Till next time, I'm the Reverend Rogue Six, and I'll see you at ringside!