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THE REV REVIEWS: Wrestling Hunger 2008 (11.16.08)

By Reverend Rogue Six

(Disclaimer: The views expressed in the following are purely those of the columnist.)

Newton's 3rd law of Physics states that for very action, there is an equal and opposite physical reaction. And I think it's a sure bet that the same can be said for the world of wrestling -- for every action, there's a reaction...maybe not equal, but very physical.

The evening began with MCW's own Nick Andrews coming out to get the crowd going -- but no sooner had he gotten into the ring, out came Justin Diaz, who apparently had some corporate information he needed to impart to everyone. But being the majority owner of MEWL, he felt it was necessary to bring out the minority owner of the company -- the newly-crowned MEW Hardcore Champion, Lones Oaks, who Diaz stopped as he got halfway to the ring.

Diaz's information? As it was announced at last month's show, a new MEWL commissioner had been appointed. Justin went on to explain that he felt he was "distracted" by having to be the one to make all the decisions and rulings, and this distraction was what (he felt) cost him the North American title, thus, the need for a commissioner.

He went out and found a "completely unbiased individual, someone who wouldn't play favorites, and would call things right down the middle." Oh, and what a coincidence -- he just happened to be an MCW Original as well, a man by the name of Even Stevens.

The crowd, oddly enough, didn't seem to be as thrilled with this news as Justin was; he was jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning. As for Lones, there was absolutely no reaction on his face as Stevens came past him to the ring.

Stevens entered the ring -- albeit slowly, as he was walking with a cane -- and told Diaz to back off as he took the mic. Okay, this is interesting...

He also told him to stop; "you're jumping up and down, and no one has a clue as to what's going on here," adding "the only thing harder to understand then Shasta's storylines is your sexual orientation!" This got the crowd going.

But to borrow a line from Pacino in "Scent of a Woman", Stevens was just getting warmed up...he turned away from a visibly disappointed Diaz and told everyone how he'd come back to "this mis-excuse for a fed", a fed he had once wrestled for and was paid for in " green pepper pizza" by Shasta.

(What was this I was seeing? Could this be -- a Rogue Commissioner?)

He then announced that he really didn't like the title "Commissioner", and from this point on, wanted to be referred to as "Lord Chancellor", even making Diaz and Lones call him by his new title.

Folks, you know it takes a lot to surprise me...and this...this really surprised me. A Chancellor of wrestling...hey, why not?

The Chancellor then turned his attention to Lones, mentioning his recent Hardcore title win -- "I didn't know there had been a pie-eating contest for the title..."

As his first act as the new Chancellor, he ordered a match between "The Natural" Christian Vaughn -- returning to action after his brutal match with Shasta -- and Mr. Insanity, Toby Klein!

Before he left the ring, he had a message for Lones: Diaz made a mistake in his choice, because he'd brought in a madman to run the asylum -- Stevens had brought hell with him, and things were indeed going to change.

Well, well...color me intrigued, ladies and gentlemen.

Lones didn't go too far, because he had a Hardcore title defense against none other then MCW's Terminator -- Brain Damage -- who came to the ring wheeling a large trash can filled with all forms of weapons, ranging from a pool cue to Nick Andrews' folding chair and anything else that would fit. This was nothing but a street fight that left Lones bleeding from the head and face, and following a very sick DDT from the 2nd rope onto a steel chair, left Brain Damage the new MEWL Hardcore champion.

Back to the ring came Nick -- and before he could get a second sentence in, out to the ring came Jessicka Havok with a full mad-on, for some reason. (Nick, what is it with your people? You're getting messed with by your own gang!)

Jessicka yanked the mic from Nick's hand and let the crowd know in no certain terms that she was -- well, let's just call it what it was; she was pissed. Her opponent for the evening, Super Oprah, no-showed on her again! Here she was, all ready to go, and no one to fight. Or so she thought.

Out to the ring came Rex Rootin, the Rootin' Tootin' Buckaroo, who was all too glad to oblige her. And he got all he could handle from Havok, who finished him off with a DDT punctuated by a one-fingered salute with each hand to the crowd as the ref counted three.

(A note to the new Chancellor: Please get Jessicka some new competition soon, before her head explodes! I don't think she can take much more!)

The ongoing game of human chess that Supa Lucha and Krazy had been engaged in over the past few months had to end, one way or another, and in a No Time Limit match, they would have all the time they needed to answer the question everyone had, once and for all: who was the better man? In a battle that was as technically sound as it was fast and furious, there was a one-word answer to the question of the better man; Krazy became the new MEWL Cruiserweight Champion after a top-rope Krazy Krunch for the pin. Lucha got to his feet and shook Krazy's hand in an outstanding show of professional respect; Krazy returned the gesture by promising him a rematch whenever he wanted it. This got a huge round of applause from the crowd.

Without a doubt, this match gets my Match of the Night award, hands down. Both Lucha and Krazy get my "Heart of a Warrior" award for an outstanding show of respect to each other.

Once things had settled down, Shasta took the mic and told the crowd that the time of free tickets was over (which some of the crowd had received); at the next show -- December 15th -- anyone who paid for a ticket would have their name entered in a drawing for a Nintendo Wii or Xbox; he added "Bring a friend, let ‘em see what we're about."

It's been said that when you get thrown from a horse, the best thing to do is get back on and keep riding. Chancellor Stevens' edict not withstanding, "The Natural" Christian Vaughn did just that, returning to action against MCW's Mr. Insanity, Toby Klein (is it me, or did Toby look like he should have been in the remake of Bloodsport? He looked like a Muay Thai fighter...) in a match that was -- well, fairly insane in places. Christian held his own, but this was not his night, the victory going to Mr. Insanity. Christian got a round of applause from everyone, but I noticed something that was a little disturbing; despite the applause and cheers from the crowd, he looked down at his Team Pain shirt, and then shook his head in a sign of -- disbelief? Self-doubt? I can't put my finger on it, but I think there's some still waters running fairly deep in The Natural.

Justin Diaz said that all the decision-making and other business had distracted him to the point that it cost him the North American belt. With the arrival of Chancellor Stevens, would his concentration be focused enough for his rematch with new champion Johnny Gun? Apparently it was, as Diaz was able to stand up to the attacks of Gun, nailing the young champion with a nasty cobra clutch/Russian leg sweep combo, and even a Codebreaker as well. It was when Diaz set Johnny up for a potentially illegal Shattered Dreams in the corner that things got a little -- shall we say -- interesting...

Out to the ring came Dick Jeremy, who told Diaz that "everyone's sick and tired of your cheating", distracting Justin enough for Johnny to call for his finisher and hit it on Diaz. But as he went up for an elbow drop, Jeremy grabbed Gun's ankle and held him long enough for Diaz to crotch him on the turnbuckle, deliver the Stigmata for the pinfall and to become the new North American champion once again.

(Lest I be accused of bias, I'll simply congratulate you, Justin, on regaining the title -- but you should thank Dick Jeremy for the assist, you really should.)

The next match was supposed to be for the MEWL Heavyweight title, with Jebediah defending against Chris Kole. But when no referee came out, and Jebediah came to the ring in his regular clothes, my Rogue-sense started going off; something was going on here. When Chancellor Stevens came out to the ring, saying "No" to Kole over and over, my Rogue-sense then told me that something was most definitely going on.

According to the Chancellor, it seemed that Jebediah was unable to compete, since he had not been medically cleared to wrestle; he was suffering from broken ribs. This started a loud "BULLSHIT" chant from the crowd, with Kole leading them along. Numerous people around me were all saying one thing (myself included): "What the hell - ?"

The Chancellor explained that Jebediah had till February 7th to defend the title, which did nothing to assuage Kole's anger; at one point I thought Kole was actually going to go after Stevens himself (and there were numerous calls for him to do so...). Folks, something tells me we haven't heard the last of this, not by any shot.

The Main Event was the much-awaited-for TLC match between the Sideshow (with "Super" Otis accompanying the duo -- Time Traveler conspicuous by his absence) and Ryan and Blaze. A duffel bag with the belts hung overhead, the prize of the night. What ensued was an all-out battle that was all over the ring, in it and out of it as well. The ladder came in early, as well as chairs (if there was a table used, I didn't see it, but that doesn't mean it didn't). Durty demonstrated how not to use a ladder Funk-style, by taking out Wilbur as well as their opponents; Wilbur got the top of the ladder introduced to his cojones the hard way via a Blaze baseball slide; Blaze and Ryan both took to the air via the ladder as a ramp, there were many more highlights, but I can only write so fast...

When Wilbur nailed Jazin with a Black River Driver on a chair, I thought that may have been it -- but nope, Blaze and Ryan were not going gently into that good night...they set up a combined Van Daminator and baseball slide into a chair propped on Wilbur, and that was all they needed to climb the ladder (which I was astonished to see still worked after the abuse it took) and take down the bag to become the new MEWL Tag Team Champions!

This match is getting my "Old School ECW" Award for the amount of sheer violence and brutality that took place. And to the new champions Jazin and Eric, my congratulations to both of you for a battle well fought -- may you hold those belts a long time.

So, it seems that despite the title changes, MCW may have had their plans backfire on them with the arrival of Chancellor Even Stevens -- an MCW Original with an axe to grind against the MCW contingent itself!

Where will this go from here? What will the Chancellor's next edict be?

Until next time, I'm the Reverend Rogue Six, and I'll see you at ringside!